East West Humor
Dear friends,
Wow. What a spate of not-the-most-comforting news these days. Ukraine? Israel? Political strife? Recession fears? Martians attack New York City? (O.K.—maybe I made that one up…) Time for a little levity. Here are some of my favorite cute stories from East West. A smile on the face is often a cure for what ails you…
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Customers frequently ask for our restroom key. I often like to reply, “Sure. It’s one of the store's most popular items!”
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We have an amazing 800 lb quartz crystal in the store. People are always stunned when looking at it, but at $250,000 it’s a bit pricey for most. I usually offer a 20% discount, which has not helped to date for some reason. I then point out it comes with a bumper sticker that says, “I saved $50,000 at East West Bookshop.” And we deliver! No luck still, but I’ll keep trying.
Part two on the humongous crystal: People sometimes wonder whether I am concerned that it might get stolen, on full display in our window as it is. Seems to me it would be hard to break the glass, shove the crystal in your pocket, and run down the street...
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Crystals part II
I was talking with one of our main crystal suppliers. We were looking at the crystals and I commented that I really liked one in particular and pointed at it. He said, “Shh! Don't say that. The one next to it gets jealous.” Amazing. I shared this story with a customer a little later and I had just gotten to the “Shh” part when he interrupted and said, “Because the others will get jealous, right??” He then turned to the case and said, “You are all GORGEOUS!” Makes one wonder how much we don’t know about the world around us.
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One day, a woman came in with a large chocolate cake in a clear plastic box. I must admit it looked great and caught my eye. As she walked past me at the front desk, she asked, “Can I leave this up here while I shop?" My eyes got big and I said, “Oh YES! That would be just GREAT!!” There was a moment of silence and she eyed me suspiciously until I broke into a huge grin. I said, “I promise I won’t eat much of it!” She laughed and did leave it, but I could see hesitation in her eyes. (It was all there when she got back—I promise!)
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We have a gift item in the store that always makes me smile. It’s a sign with a prayer on it that I think we can all relate to. But—as the best humor does—it spurred some deeper thoughts as well. “Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth. Amen.”
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A charming story from many years ago: East West used to have a Christmas sing-a-long evening for customers. One year the staffer leading the singing (who herself had a great voice) was on the guitar singing away when she heard someone in the group with a remarkable voice. She stopped after the second carol was finished and said, “O.K., everybody. Listen to that lady over there and do your best to sing like she does!” Turned out “that lady over there” was Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award winner Joan Baez, who lives in the area and was a frequent East West customer. You never know who’s going to stop in to pick up some great gifts and vibes! (Steph Curry’s wife comes in from time to time as well. And…?)
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East West carries a cute little toy—a pendulum freely swinging over a circular pad. The pad is labeled at various points: “Yes”, “No”, “Maybe”, “Absolutely Not”, “For Sure!”, and “Try Again”. You flick the little ball hanging down and, because of an embedded magnet, the pendulum swings a modest number of times and then settles on an answer.
People come in and play with it and I often see people flicking away with big grins on their faces. I usually go up to the person using it and say, “Just for you to know: If you make a major life decision based on this, East West is not responsible!” This usually gets a good laugh, but every once in a great while someone looks at me somewhat seriously as if to say, “O.K.—good to know!” One time I was walking past and a young woman was using it. She asked aloud but under her breath, “Should I marry him?” I thought, “Oh my goodness!”
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A husband and wife came into the store. They stopped near the front desk and I heard her tell him, “I’ll just be ten minutes.” It is rare for someone to come into East West and be ten minutes! I went over to him and said in a stage whisper, “You might want to go to the movies!” She was not ten minutes. :-)
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Final thought: It is said that humor is essential on the spiritual path. We need to take things seriously enough to do our best to make progress, but not so seriously that our heart is constantly agitated with anxieties, worries, guilt, fears about the future, regrets about the path, etc. Relax! This is a game you simply cannot lose; it’s just a question of how long it takes. For anyone reading this letter I suspect you are more likely to put undue pressure on yourself than to slough off what needs to be done. Let’s look at ourselves with a twinkle in the eye. Our foibles are merely humorous and a stepping stone to our education and eventual freedom.
Blessings,
David G., manager
For the staff at East West